You eva try to date someone who was just hard and the dating experience was just hard. I have had this experience and I just flat out told the dude, you are hard to deal with. It was a lesson learned.
It's hard to love and be in a relationship with someone that has a hard heart.
Ezekial 36:26 KJV says, “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” In essence, God was saying let me upgrade your heart with a new one. Even He can't do anything with an old hardened heart, so He upgrades it to a pliable and teachable heart.
Having a tender heart is necessary to having a healthy relationship.
A hardened heart by biblical definition is to inwardly and persistently refuse to hear and obey God's word.
If a person's heart is hardened towards God, it will be hardened towards people.
Being uncaring and having an unsympathetic attitude is a manifestation of a hardened heart. Having this type of heart makes it hard to have a healthy relationship.
This is one of the Holy's Spirit's functions in our regenerated experience. He transforms the human heart, enabling it to love and obey God. He renews and directs our hearts towards people. This is why we need Him.
Proverbs 4:23 KJV says, “Keep the heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
The root of life issues that people have is not because of the issues with government, or the issues with society or issues with their finances, issues with their health or any other area.
It’s a heart issue.
Having a hard heart, not only makes life hard but it makes being relationally healthy hard. The heart is the core of your being. This is where you think, feel, and take action. The heart is the core and seat of your emotions; it’s the center of emotional reaction, feeling and sensitivity. The heart is the seat and center of all physical and spiritual life.
In Luke 8:43-48, the Bible tells a story about a woman who had an issue of blood. The Bible also tells us in Leviticus 17:11 that life is in the blood. So the issue in this woman’s blood affected her body. God created us to live from the inside out, so inner “heart” issues will cause outward “life” issues.
It will cause issues in your physical life and issues in your relational life.
If the heart is hard, your responses will be hard, your attitude will be hard, you will be hard on yourself, as well as others, and you will be hard to love. Someone with a hardened heart is hard to love. Someone with a hardened heart is hard to get along with. It’s hard to communicate with someone who has a hardened heart.
One of the main reasons for people having a hard heart is because of being hurt in bad relationships. In spite of the hurt, you must guard your heart from becoming hardened. If it’s already hardened then you have to open your heart to God so He can upgrade it. Especially before you try to date anyone.
You gotta deal with your heart.
Guarding my heart was something I had to learn, especially when it came to dating. Because I’m a kindhearted person and as you grow in grace, you learn how to have the Father’s heart. I used to look to God for him to stop me from being so kindhearted, because of it being hurt by people. Because people will take your kindness as weakness. For some reason people can’t handle kindness, well actually the reason is the topic of discussion. Their hearts are hardened.
Of course God’s response to me was not to take away my tender heart because that wouldn’t be a reflection of Him and His nature. God is kindhearted. But what He did do is teach me how to guard my heart. I’ll share it with you. You guard you heart by:
-
Not being so quick to open your heart to a person.
-
Extending your hand first, before extending your heart.
Having a hard heart is hard because nobody wants to be treated harshly.
A hard heart can’t heal and if you don’t heal, you will hurt!
