I used to think that the foundation for all human relationships was a married couple, but after further study I found that it is not.
By biblical definition, marriage is 2 whole people becoming 1.
If you read in Genesis, you will see that God didn't start the institution of family with a couple, He started it with a single person, Adam. God said, Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness. The word, "man" is plural because it refers to an entire species. Adam had seed within him for all of humanity.
In Genesis 2:7 KJV it reads, “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” This reveals that God started a family with one body, not two. Adam was one single individual. So God formed Adam to lay the foundation of the family.
Throughout scripture, you will also see a pattern with God regarding people. He always dealt with people individually. God is personal so His Kingdom is designed around the individual, not groups of people.
It’s one-on-one with God. That’s just how He works.
A single unmarried being is what lies at the base of family structure. The most important step in any building project is laying a foundation. If you talk to an architect, they will tell you that the most expensive cost in a building project is the foundation. They will also tell you, the higher the building, the deeper the foundation because the foundation has to be able to bear the weight of the whole entire building structure.
So pause and think about that in terms of building a family. If Adam started as a single, we too must start a family singular. I know it's something to really ponder.
Whether you are married or unmarried, singleness should be the starting point.
That's the foundation, but people don't like building foundation because building a foundation is slow and a foundation can't be seen. If you go to someone’s house you not gonna say, “oh let me see your foundation.” You can’t see the foundation, but you know it’s there because that is what’s holding up the entire structure.
But if the foundation is weak, if the foundation is faulty, the building will eventually crack and collapse.
Some families have faltered because there was a faulty foundation.
The average person today has never been single. But I’m here to help you out.
Remember being single is being a whole, unique individual. I defined singleness in Singleness is not a Status. If you haven’t read it, go check it out. Being single is talking bout being complete and fulfilled within yourself and your relationship with God.
If you are seeking a love relationship for identity, stop! Please stop! Because that’s a sign you are not single yet? When you are truly single, you have come to terms with your own identity. You know who you are and you are not looking for yourself in other people.
If you are looking for completeness in something or someone outside of yourself, you will continue to live in incompleteness. When a person is already secure in their self-image they don’t need anyone to become someone.
They are confident and complete within themselves.
So imagine if both people in a relationship have an identity crisis, there will be double trouble.
Singleness is the foundation from which all other relationships are built. Some people believe life doesn't really start until they are in a marital relationship but that isn't so.
Lets go back to the architect. It would be foolish of him to put up the walls, put up the roof and put up windows and forget all about building the foundation. Jesus teaches us in Matthew chapter 7 about 2 builders; one was wise and the other one was foolish. The Wise builder built his house on the rock while the foolish one built his house on the sand. If you read it, you will see that both builders had the same opportunity but they didn’t have the same outcome. Reason being is because they didn’t build on the same substance.
What’s the point?
You should build you first before building a romantic relationship.
Building a marriage is like building a house. When a person marries without being single first, they are in essence, like the foolish builder. They are building upon sand.
A lot of people today have no roots in themselves or neither do they have any roots in God. They are other people’s opinions. Their identity constantly shifts to accommodate the person they are dating. Jesus didn’t need another person to verify or validate Him. He knew who He was, at all times.
The chatter didn’t matter to Him.
Until you become whole, your self-worth will be dependent on other people. If you want biblical success in your relationship, you must build it with biblical standards. You want a firm foundation for your family and it starts with you being single.
