After having a few dead-end dating experiences, I asked God why I kept getting the outcome I was getting. I asked the question, “is it me?” Was it something within myself leading me to the dead-end.
Because the hard truth is, you attract what you are.
If you are broken and bruised, that is what you will attract. Brokenness attracts brokenness which will result in a broken relationship.
I started confronting myself and saw there was some brokenness within myself.
I sought self-deliverance.
When I did this, I started to see some change in my relationships. So many times, we look at what needs to be changed in other people when the problem is within ourselves. We aren’t accountable for other people; we are accountable for ourselves. You have to examine your own self, not others (2 Corinthians 13:5).
The first step to deliverance is admitting that there is a problem. When I asked God the question, I was admitting that there was a problem somewhere and that I needed Him to show me so it could be dealt with. Sometimes we know and sometimes we don’t.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
We don’t know all that’s within us until Holy Spirit makes it known. Part of His leadership role is to illuminate—not just who God is but who we are. It’s one of my prayers every day:
“Holy Spirit, reveal me to me!”
The Bible says that He bears witness to the truth. That is not just God’s truth, but the truth about ourselves because we deceive ourselves. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Paul said in Romans 7: 18 “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing…”
People think that they are okay and they are not. Then they blame other people for their issues. Fellas, every woman you dated can’t be wrong. Ladies, every man you dated can’t be wrong.
You gotta do some soul searching.
The bible tells us to examine ourselves. Most people spend their time examining others but fail to examine themselves. It also tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:31 that if we judge ourselves, there's no need to be judged. After searching yourself, then you should ask God to do some research on you like David did in Psalms 139:23-24. He said,
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Your inner man is the hidden person of the heart (1 Peter 3:4), it's your central essence with which God is primarily concerned and you should be too!
Your heart is the center and source of belief and faith. Now this is not talking about your pumping heart, it’s your spirit. Your innermost being.
This is the place that God searches and tries—the heart.
One thing about God, He’s not gonna talk to you about somebody else. He’s gonna deal with you. That doesn’t excuse the fact that somebody did something wrong to you or something wrong happened to you.
But your response to what happened is your responsibility.
We are accountable for our own actions. At first that seems like it’s unfair, but when you really think about it’s wonderful to know that God doesn’t handle us according to other people’s actions. That’s giving you the power to prevail regardless of what others think, say, or do. God will deal with them accordingly. You can move on living the blessed life God promised, in spite of other people and their problems.
That’s great gospel news!!
So the issue is not the other person. The issue is not your parents. The issue is not what happened on your job. The issue is not what happened to you or didn’t happen for you. The issue is not the devil. The issue is not who you dated.
The issue iss-you!
