A rewarding relationship is not something that’s just given like a gift.
A rewarding relationship is a result of hard work.
Some people like the idea of a love relationship or marriage but they don't want to put in the work it takes to build it. Just like any other endeavor, a great relationship must be built. It won’t happen by osmosis. You will have to put in some work.
Two people coming together in a relationship is a clashing of two cultures.
We all have different histories, cultural backgrounds and experiences. Even if we are of the same ethnicity, all families have their own culture. The way one person grew up will be different from another person.
So when you join yourself to someone in relationship, you are not just joining yourself to that person. You are joining yourself to that person’s culture, background, and historical experiences.
In order for the relationship to survive, both parties will have to patiently work at building together.
It will require some individual work as a person and some corporate work as a couple.
If you meet someone and they are lazy as an individual, that’s a sign that they will most likely be lazy corporately. If you know within yourself that you are lazy, confront that within yourself and within your own life first before you join yourself to someone else’s life. If you can’t be diligent for yourself, how will you be diligent with an additional person?
I believe this is what happened with the foolish builder Jesus teaches us about, metaphorically, in Matthew chapter 7 verses 24-27. In the parable He is talking about building a house which represents a person’s life. However, the term house can also be a representation to other things that require building, like a business, a relationship, a ministry, and/or a marriage.
Since we are talking about relationships, we will look at it from that point of view because a good relationship must be built. It will not work itself out or happen by osmosis.
And building the relationship will require a committed effort from both parties.
The main point in the parable is talking about foundation. If you read the passage you will notice that both builders had the same opportunity, but they didn’t have the same outcome. Jesus describes the building process for both builders.
What made the difference? Well the wise builder heard the Word, took action and applied it. In other words, he was a doer of the Word. This secured his foundation and enabled him to have solidity during a storm. The bible says when the storm came, the man’s house didn’t fall.
The foolish builder, however, he heard the Word but didn’t take any further action. This caused an unstable foundation and instability during the storm. Unlike the wise builder, when the flood came, this man’s house fell.
I believe the foolish builder was lazy because he didn’t put in the extra work to build his house securely like the wise builder. The wise builder heard the word and followed through with action which requires more work and more effort.
This is how it must be when it comes to being in a relationship.
You can’t be lazy.
You have to put in the necessary work to build the relationship and to build it securely. Otherwise you will find yourself like the foolish builder, unsettled. Some people wait until things get stormy to start building, but construction workers don’t build in a storm. It’s hard to build in a storm.
Build while it’s sunny and things are blissful. Put forth effort to build and grow together, otherwise you will grow apart. Some people do just enough to get by. But there’s no reward in being slothful.
Laziness will not empower your love life.
Developing Christ-like character is a process and doesn’t happen overnight. Therefore, being a Christ-centered couple won’t either. The book of Proverbs has much to say about laziness and the result thereof. The outcome that comes out of being lazy is not so good. One scripture says that laziness leads to poverty. You can read that in Proverbs 6:10-11.
People have poor relationships because of laziness. I’ve heard people say, I’m going to let things work itself out.” Well no relationship will work itself out. It has to be worked out between the people involved. Anything worth having will require work.
Let me repeat that.
Anything WORTH having will require WORK!
Being in a relationship will require some building. It will require some change. It will require some sacrifice. It will require compromise. It will require selflessness. It will require growth. All that is work. If your relationship is worth something to you, then work it out!
Like the song say, walk it out…work it out!
Put in the necessary work individually and corporately. Don’t be slothful and idle.
Relationships dissolve when people refuse to evolve!
