We've all heard it and most likely said it at some point in our lives that, "I fell in love" or “I fell outta love.” Well I have learned something and I want to share it with you.
Love does not make you fall, love lifts you up.
There's nothing good about falling. If you think about it, nobody wants to fall in or outta anything. There's nothing fun about falling. Who wants to fall? We learn and repeat things without giving it much thought as to whether it makes sense or not. Again, dysfunctional thinking.
That's a wrong view on love. The bible says that love never fails.
In dating someone, you should be doing better, going further and higher. You shouldn’t go down. I’ve never experienced this but I know of people who hooked up with someone and went downhill.
Love don’t cause you to go down, it lifts you up.
If you see yourself going down after you join yourself to someone, then something is wrong. If you are worse off than you were before getting with that person, then something is wrong. Love doesn't leave you hanging. Love helps you to go higher. Love helps you be better.
Ignorance about love will make you fall for foolery. I, myself fell for foolery and it cost me a whole lot of tears, heartache, and pain. It doesn’t have to be the same for you. You must know what true love is so you won’t fall. People have made up their own version of what love is and even what God’s love is.
God does have a particular type of love.
Let me help you! There are four types of love and three of the types are mistaken for the real thing. The Greek language words for these types of love are agape, eros, phileo, and storge. I will briefly describe each one to give you some context and help you see what kind of love you can experience, may have experienced, or may be experiencing now.
1. Agape
This is God’s type of love.
This love is unconditional, meaning without any requirements. If someone says they love you and it’s attached with reasons, then their love is conditional. Conditional love is not godly. Conditions come with expectations, and when those expectations are not met, people get disappointed. Division is the fruit of disappointment and disappointed people tend to divorce. That’s not just in marriage, divorce can happen in dating.
2. Eros
Eros is sexual or carnal love. This kind is all about physical pleasure. It has no concern for your heart. This kind refers to people who have a sexual relationship. They may say they love you but it may be just sexual. It’s very common in today’s world. People don’t want the commitment of a covenant marriage but they want a sexual relationship. They just want a sexual partner without a marriage covenant. A marriage covenant requires commitment whereas a sexual covenant doesn’t. There’s no commitment, just sex to please their flesh.
There is a difference between eros and agape. Knowing the difference will help you to be proactive and not reactive. You can proactively avoid being hurt because you know when it’s eros and when it’s agape. First of all, agape love will want a covenant marriage, not just sex. There is nothing wrong with desiring sex, God gave it to us. However, He created it to be kept within the boundaries of marriage. I got a little deep with that one because it’s so prevalent in today’s society and people are really hurt by it. But let’s move on to describe the other two kinds of love.
3. Phileo
A third type of love is phileo. This type of love is brotherly love. It’s most often a love exchange in a close friendship, when you love someone who may be your friend as close as a brother or sister. Y’all are that close and you see them as your sister or brother, sometimes more than your actual blood-related sister or brother. A perfect example of this is the relationship between David and Jonathan. You can read about it in 1 Samuel 18:1-3.
4. Storge
Storge is another type of love that refers to the love between family members. We grow up telling our family members that we love them because it is the thing to do. If they are family, you say, “I love you.” But then, as life goes on, family members become divided and those words lose their meaning.
The more I learned about God's love, the more I learned how to love myself—not through my lens, but through His. As a result, His love lifted me out of insecurity into security. His love lifted me out of brokenness into wholeness. His love lifted me out of rejection into acceptance.
God's love will lift you up so you can be uplifting to others, with love.
The bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 KJV, "Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing."
An agape, loving relationship is an uplifting one!
