Since it's the inaugural topic of the podcast Relationality, I wanted to share a little bit about myself.
In my personal life, I’m a very family oriented person. I've always had a heart to have healthy and wholesome relationships, especially in marriage and family. But not just for myself but for others. Growing up, dating just wasn't a topic of teaching for many of us at home, school or church. You would hear things like don't have sex until you're married and you can marry a person as long as they are saved. So dating for me was trial and error and I ended up marrying in error. I thought I was doing the right thing because I checked the salvation box. But no! There are some other boxes that need to be checked. But, thank God for deliverance. I’ve been set free from dysfunctional dating and I want to help my sisters and brothers with their dating life.
In my professional life, as a licensed hairstylist for over 20 years, I engaged with so many men and woman who were different, but had common dating dysfunctional experiences. God would use me to minister, counsel and impart wisdom to them. What started as me just being their hair coach, turned into me coaching them on relationships without me even realizing it.
My personal pitfalls and professional experiences is what triggered my passion to study relationships, become a coach, and launch the Relationality podcast. I will be sharing relational truths on love and dating, a man's makeup and a woman's wiring, and more. I will also be sharing some of my own personal experiences since the enemy don’t have no new tricks. I mean why should he if the old ones are still working? You don’t have to make the same mistakes I did, I’ve made them for you.
You deserve to have a fulfilling romantic relationship that help and not hurt, that affirm and not abuse.
Enough about me, let’s get into it.
Relational health is something that gets neglected and it's just as important as physical and mental health because everything is rooted in relationships. Relationality is simply the condition or state of being relational. To give relationality more definition I made it 3D.
1st dimension is Relation - this is the way in which two or more people feel about and behave toward each other. We were created to relate to God, to relate to ourselves, let me stop there, because a lot of people skip that and go straight to trying to relate to others. Jesus was asked a question about the 2 greatest commands. They were to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself.
You will love others on the basis of how you love yourself. It’s the same principal in relationships because God don’t change which mean His principles don’t either. If it works in one area, it will work in other areas.
So you will relate to others in the same manner you relate to yourself. For example, if you reject yourself, you will reject others. We were created to related to God, relate to ourselves and relate to others in that order! You can't get away from it even if you tried.
We were created to commune and be in community with others, relationally.
2nd dimension is Reality - Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, in street terms—realness. I can’t stand fake people, like keep it straight-up with me. I respect realness. When it comes to relationships, you have to be real. Even God don’t like wishy washy. He said I’d rather you be hot or cold. There are relationship realities when it comes to being relational.
Another point is that people form their relations out of ignorance which is why we need truth. Some model what they see on TV and that is not reality. The characters on TV are made up, even the ones they call reality TV. It’s a false reality to get revenue. We are in a real world with real people that require relationship realness.
3rd dimension is Relativity - This means something being of quality or of value by relation to something else. For the sake of the context of our relational conversations, it’s the quality or value by relation to someone else. This is very important in relationships because we all have a need to be valued, but you can expect what you are not giving. So many people want something but ain’t giving nothing. It’s okay to want to be valued but make sure you are adding value yourself. This is what makes a quality relationship. So you wanna become quality so you can give quality. That’s a principle within itself because you can teach you what you know, but you will only reproduce what you are. God created everything to reproduce after it’s own kind.
The most important relationship of all is the one you have with God and with yourself. A relationship will only be as healthy as the people that are in it.
You have personality...cool, but you need relationality!
