Concerning the title Sex Bonds, I’m not talking about sexual activity, I’m talking about sex gender.
A lot of the time when you hear relationship-talk between male and female, it's always the battle of the sexes. And it’s cool to have fun and joke around about male and female differences and experiences. The downside to that is that it becomes some people’s mentality and they will go into a relationship with their dukes up. Its like they are always in battle mode.
But a relationship is not supposed to be a battleship.
When God created Adam and Eve for community, there was no battling. They were in balance, well at least until Adam sinned. Now there probably was some brawls after the fall LOL. Especially after seeing their blame game didn’t work and they still got kicked out of the Garden. God said (in my own words), you ain’t got tah go home, but you gettin outta here! God fired Adam and Eve.
But Jesus died for the human condition.
Part of our redemption package is relationship. Meaning getting back to God’s original design for a relationship. From God’s perspective, men and women were created to bond. The bible says, the two shall become one. Well in order to become one, there must be some bonding. That bonding should be practiced while you’re dating. God did not create male and female to battle, but to bond.
This subject is not about the battle of the sexes but the bonding of the sexes.
God, our Creator, created one species named mankind. Within that species, He made two models; a male sex and a female sex. He had to create two models because love can't love alone. This is why He said it wasn't good for man to be alone.
As God’s creation, He did not create men and women to battle. What happens when there’s battling? Battling creates barriers and what are barriers for? They are to divide or separate. The bible says that a house divided will not stand. So if there's division in a relationship, that relationship will not stand, it won't hold up. Battling creates separation.
Separation is detrimental to the flow of fellowship.
In one of my experiences with a guy I was dating, no matter what i said, he was always on the defensive. I wasn’t saying something bad or negative, it would be compliments or encouraging words and he would reject it instead of accepting it. I begin to think and ask myself, what is going on? But I realized later that he had self-rejection so no matter what I said, he reflected rejection. This caused a barrier and blockage to our attempt to bond.
When I think of a battle I think of two enemies going at it. God didn't create us to be enemies towards one another. He created us to be energizers to each other. Iron sharpens iron.
Whoever you date should energize you and not deplete you.
If you feel depleted and exhausted after talking or spending time with someone, you may wanna pause. The relationship should be energetic and it should sharpen you.
But what happens when there's a bond? It cultivates unity! Bonding creates unity and unity creates an atmosphere for agreement. The bible says in Amos 3:3 KJV, “How can 2 walk together except they are in agreement.”
Unity can’t exist without agreement.
The Hebrew word for together is yahdaw, meaning a unit or unitedly. So it’s possible to walk separately, yet divided. Someone was talking to me about their marital troubles and were divorcing and they made a comment saying that they had been with their spouse for 30 years. I responded by saying, “no ya’ll been living under the same roof for 30 years but ya’ll haven’t been walking as ONE,—a unit, unitedly together for 30 years.” There is a difference.
Unity and agreement is the strength of the Kingdom. A lot can get done with a unified body whether it’s a unity of 2 or a unity of 20. The enemy knows this and is why His first attack was on the family. It’s possible to be under the same roof and sleep next to someone and not be a unit walking together.
A relationship cannot grow if there’s no unity within.
Division is demonic. It’s not of God to be divided. Get back to God’s design and do not settle for someone who wants to battle.
Now, I’m not talking about having a disagreement. Of course there will be disagreements because men and women are different. Disagreements aren’t bad and we’ll get into that at a later time.
I’m talking about that male/female chauvinist foolery. An example is when a female will say all men are dogs or a man will say all women are crazy. If you go into a relationship with that mentality, you already have your dukes up thinking that your man is gonna dog you because that’s your belief.
That belief will cause a barrier and block bonding.
You don’t want to go into a relationship with your dukes up. You wanna go in with your dukes down so you two can bond and bring balance. One of the goals in a dating relationship should be to bond. There are many ways to bond but I’ll just highlight one big way to bond. That is to put your phone down or away when spending time with that person. There’s nothing worse than trying to spend time with someone whose attention is being on their phone. By giving the person your undivided attention will cultivate bonding.
Ladies and fellas, don’t make your relationship a battleship. Bond!
