Living Single…do you remember that show?
One thing I liked about that show is that they embraced their singleness. Society and some people act like singleness is a curse. It is not! Or they’ll stereotype you like something is wrong with you because you are single. Especially as a woman. You are looked upon as if something is wrong with you if you aren't married.
Ain’t nothing wrong with me. Ladies, you are okay and on your way! God gave you free will to choose so get married when you choose to and to whom you choose. People will ask the question “when you getting married?” as if a person’s life is not complete because they aren’t married.
Marriage does not complete you.
I've had comments made to me saying that I was pretty and had my stuff together but then they’ll say, you must be crazy. I would respond and say, “no, I'm not crazy. I'm secure and I’m not settling.” Ya’ll I’ve been there and done that, bought the T-shirt and wore it a few times before I washed it. LOL…you feel me?
Just because a person is single does not mean they are not wanted.
Let me be the first to tell ya! I’m wanted, but I get to choose what and who I want. I’ve had to say no to some gentlemen. Ladies and fellas it’s okay to say no! You do not have to settle just because you are single. Don’t do it Cletus! Don’t put yourself on sale for some company. High-end designers never have sales, you know why? They are secure in the quality and value of their product. You can’t go into a LV or Gucci story asking for the sale. They don’t do sales and they don’t devalue their products to cater to the customers who can’t afford it. No shade, that’s just what it is. Either you can afford it or you can’t. That’s just the bottom line.
Ladies and Fellas do not put yourself on sale. Be secure in who you are, know your self-worth and value. If they can’t afford you and aren’t willing to pay the price, don’t devalue yourself to cater to them just for some company. Annnddd don’t let those who choose to be basic and low-budget make you feel bad for being high-end. You know the price you paid and still paying to be valuable, don’t put it on sale. Trust me I’ve tried it and it ain’t worth it. PeriodT.
Singleness is not a status!
In Genesis 2:18 God said that it's not good for man to be alone. Notice, He did not say it's not good for man to be single. He also did not use the word lonely. Singleness being treated as a bad social status is a faulty belief system and imma need you to snatch it all the way up by the root.
The world's idea of singleness is that it's loneliness but that’s not what God said. Besides you can be in a relationship and still be lonely, so singleness can’t be loneliness. One time one of my friends asked me about living in my house by myself.
She said, “you don’t get lonely in here by yourself. I said, “well you with someone and you still lonely. I’d rather be myself, with myself, and to myself chilling, than to have a headache at home and still be lonely.”
I know people that are married and lonely and you probably know some too! Some of the loneliness people are married folk. Singleness is not a curse, it's not loneliness, and it’s not a status.
What is singleness then? I’m so glad you asked!
From God's perspective, singleness is wholeness.
Being single means being whole as a singular individually unique person.
People look to a courtship to fulfill and complete them when the reality is that you should be complete within yourself before you enter a courtship. A romantic relationship or marriage does not make you whole, you should already be whole. In other words, the institution of marriage was not designed to complete you and make you whole. That’s not why God instituted marriage. Two single, whole individuals is what’s supposed to make the marriage whole.
But because so many people are needy, they put a need on courtship. Need involves demand and implies that there is something lacking in life.
This is why some people rotate in and out of relationships.
As soon as they get out of one, they are in another one. That’s not healthy. You shouldn't need marriage, marriage should need you. In order for marriage to be successful, it needs two individuals who are whole and complete within themselves.
When you look to a courtship to complete you, in essence you are trying to find yourself in another person. And you wonder why you are in conflict in your courtship? It’s because you are empty of your real self!!! God did not create you in the image of other people, He created you in His image. Thus, your identity will only be found in Him. No other person can meet your soul or spiritual needs or make you happy. Honey you gotta go to God for that.
Otherwise you gonna stay on a relationship rotation.
Who got time for that? I’m too old to be on rotation.
It's better to be single and secure than to date and marry broken. Who likes broken stuff? No one wants something that's broken. I don’t know about you but complete people interest me. People who know who they are, where they are, where they are going, and know how they gonna get there. Those are my kind of people. That’s what you want for yourself and for the person you choose to court.
The reality is this, you can only bring to a courtship what you are as a person alone and if you aren’t settled with you, you gonna have a hard time being settled with someone else. You must find complete and total fulfillment in God.
Singleness is the season to develop your relationship with God and your relationship with yourself.
It’s where you can develop character, become self-aware and self-confident. It’s a time where you can date yourself. You learn how to love yourself for who you are. You learn who you really are. You learn your weaknesses and strengths. You learn what thrills you and what chills you. You know what you like and don’t like. It’s a lot you learn when you spend time with yourself.
Many people today don’t date themselves. They have dated everyone else except themselves.
Singleness is not bad, it’s a blessing and you should aspire to it, not avoid it.
