Trauma Drama

We can’t have a conversation about wholeness and not talk about brokenness because broken hearts are real.

A broken heart, in essence, is a broken life.

Your heart is your core where everything else flows. It literally is the core of your life. This is one of the reasons I believe Jesus said in Luke 4:18 that He came to mend broken hearts. He didn’t say mend broken lives. 

Someone asked me one time, what I thought was worse; physical abuse or verbal abuse.

I told them verbal abuse. Physical abuse to the body can be mended and can heal naturally or by modern medicine. I mean unless it's an extreme situation where it’s abused beyond repair. I know too, there are cases where people have been beaten to death. Of course there’s nothing to compare to that.

However, I don’t think people realize the depth of damage that emotional and verbal abuse causes.

It goes much deeper than physical abuse. I remember when I experienced my first heartbreak. Whew! That was the worst thing ever for me. Nobody prepared me or even warned me of it. It took me a couple of years to heal from it. 

I’m sure some of you can relate to that. Of course when it happened I didn’t know why it hurt so bad and why it took so long for me to get over it.

But what I learned is that when your heart is broken, so is your soul.   

God designed us to be 3 part beings. We are spirit beings that have a soul and we live in a body. Our body is our earth suit. Our soul makes up your mind, will, and your emotions. 

The bible says in Proverbs 18:14 “The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?”

When your heart is broken, your spirit is wounded and your spirit is crushed.

This brokenness causes trauma drama.

Trauma fractures the soul and can leave scars and sores unhealed.

I believe this is why God does not like divorce because of the damage it causes. In its most simplest meaning, divorce is separation and separation is detrimental to the flow of fellowship.

God does not like when fellowship is broken because it’s destructive and disastrous.

It’s damaging to the parties involved and also to their fellowship with God.

Check out what Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-23, He says “If you are out of fellowship with a brother or sister, don’t come to Me in prayer or bring offerings until you have mended the broken relationship.” 

This is how serious God takes relationships that are broken up. So much so, He says don’t come to Him with a prayer and you haven’t made peace in your relationship with others. Now, we all know that some people don’t want to make peace.

They would rather be right, or prove a point rather than to heal. 

Having a broken heart or being a heartbreaker is taken very seriously with God and so should we. Trauma causes despair and distress. 

We all have encountered trauma drama in some shape or form, especially in relationships. It’s so much more than can be said about this topic of trauma. Maybe I’ll speak on it some more.  

But for now, I want to discuss three basic traumas: 

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

The three basic traumas are:

1. A crushed spirit

2. A hurt soul

3. A broken heart

As humans, there’s an emotional bonding that happens when we engage in relationships. Remember, emotions are a part of your soul.

So when there’s trauma, it hits your soul. Your soul feels the shock of the hurt and heartache.

This is why we say things like, “my feelings are hurt.”

If your soul has trauma drama from emotional breaking, healing needs to happen so you can have healthy relationships.

I’ve heard stories where a person was angry at their partner about something but it really wasn’t about what the partner said or did, it was about something that someone else did. The trauma drama caused them to take it out on people who had nothing to do with the issue to begin with.

This is trauma drama. 

But thank God for Jesus who was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities and by His stripes we are healed.

That’s not just physical healing, but emotional and mental healing. Complete wholeness!

I see why David said in Psalm 18:6, “In my distress, I called upon the Lord….” 

That’s the first thing you should do with trauma drama, call upon the Lord. Then I recommend getting you a therapist. 

I also want to give a couple of ways on how NOT to deal with trauma drama. 

1. Don’t go into self-pity or self-patting. I was at a conference recently and one of the speakers was actually talking about trauma drama and how people commit soul suicide instead of confronting their soul trauma. I had never heard it put like that and I thought that was good. It’s kind of what I mean when I say self-pity or self-patting. Self-pity is saying things like, “Im a failure or I’m not good enough.” Self-patting is saying things like “I don’t need nobody, I’m good.”

2. Don’t replace the pain with people. This is very common in our society today. People will jump from one person to the next person to the next person to camouflage their trauma drama instead of confronting it. This is what you would call a relationship rebound. 

When it comes to trauma drama, deal with it so that you can heal from it.