True You

“To thine own self be true” This statement is a line from Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. 

It’s a very profound statement that should be a motto for all people. I say this because if you cannot be true to yourself, you won’t be true to anyone else, especially in a relationship. If you aren’t committed to yourself, you won’t be committed to someone else. If you aren’t kind to yourself, you won’t be kind to others. 

I don’t know about you, but for me, this is one of the things that really turns me off with some people. They will lie, pretend and put up a front for your partnership instead of just being honest. Just be honest with yourself. You don't have to lie to kick it.

Be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with others.

Me myself, I respect honesty. Believe it or not, so does God. In prayer, David said, “Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts.” That’s Psalms 51:6. Also, a lying tongue is one of the things that God hates. 

Having an identity crisis is detrimental to a relationship. 

Knowing yourself eliminates expectation. 

So many people are untrue to themselves about themselves. If you desire a healthy relationship, it starts with you being organic about yourself. You must be true to you. 

 I dated a guy who always preached against being a liar yet he lied to himself about himself all the time. For example, he called himself a leader but yet he didn’t practice leadership. What he was calling leadership wasn’t true leadership, it was professional manipulation. 

He would always say one thing but do another. At times, I don’t even think he realized he was doing it because it was his norm. But I lost respect for him because you have to practice what you preach. True leaders don’t point the way, they lead the way.

True leadership is watching someone do something and then the other person follows suit. That’s leadership. Not someone telling you what to do while they are doing something different or out the way. 

If you lie to yourself, it’s  guaranteed you will lie to others. Don’t even be around people that aren’t trustworthy because if they can’t be trusted, how will you know if they are on your side or not? Be around people that you know are down with you and got your back like you have theirs.

When you know yourself, people don’t have to work hard trying to figure you out because you can just tell them who you are.  

Knowing your true self makes it easier for others

to interact and build intimacy with you.

It will make your relationship more fulfilling.

I have six powerful questions that will help you discover and unlock the true you.

1. Who are you? You must know for yourself who you are. If you don't identify yourself, others will. You don’t want to be someone else’s idea of you. You want to be God’s idea of you. Identity is not just knowing who you are but it’s also knowing who you are not. You must know who you are, at your core. Self-identity produces confidence and it will prevent imitation. Imitation causes deflation. Knowing who you are is not a decision, it's a  discovery. Have you discovered yourself? If the answer is no, now is a good time to start! 

2. What are you? We were ALL created with something. You have gifts and talents that help identify your ‘what.’ Whatever your ‘what’ is, that's your potential that you were designed with and assigned to do. Yes! You were designed for something and assigned to do something. You have been assigned by design. Did you catch that? I hope you did!

3. Where are you? This is your status and location which is more about your mentality than it is your physical locality. Before you can plan for your future you have to know where you are presently. It's like the mall map that says "You are Here" You won't make it to the desired place if you are clueless of your current position. 

4. When do you? Timing is everything. Everything is seasonal, not just fruits and vegetables. Farmers have to know the season so they know when to plow and plant for a harvest. Knowing your seasons is vital so you know when to pursue or pass, when to plunge, and when to position yourself for productivity. 

5. Why are you? We ALL have a ‘why.’ You were born pregnant with a purpose. That purpose is in your wiring. It ties back to your gifts and talents because whatever your purpose is, the passion and potential will be there. Yes, your potential will have to be perfected, but it will still come natural to you because you were born with it.

6. How are you? How is the inner part of you, your soul? Is it whole or hole? If it's whole, great! If it has holes, don't worry there's hope! You can heal ah hole. But this requires vulnerability and transparency. You have to be honest with yourself. Your soul is the core of your being. This is where decisions are made so it's very important that any holes are healed. Otherwise you will make dysfunctional decisions. We don't want that. 

As you answer these questions, discover the true you!

Dishonesty is destructive to a relationship.

It's the truth that brings people together!